Social exchange theory is an economic model of human behavior that is used to explain how people arrive at decisions in a variety of social situations. The theory basically argues that people seek the greatest amount of reward with the least amount of cost when deciding whether to initiate, maintain, or end a relationship.
One dimension of this decision are the immediate rewards and costs of a relationship. Immediate rewards and costs are what we get now for being in a relationship.
Forecasted rewards and costs are based on our predictions about the potential of a relationship or its future outlook.
Cumulative rewards and costs represent the total rewards and costs accrued over the duration of the relationship. Perhaps things are going well, but maybe the relationship has had more pain and hardship overall. Or the opposite could be true. Expected rewards and costs are found in our comparison of this relationship with other relationships or our ideal of a relationship. If we have few relationships and they haven't been very good, then we have low expectations.
Think about your past and present relationships in the context of social exchange theory, do you have low or high expectations? If you have low expectations, how do you think social exchange theory can help you develop higher awareness of your relational history and prepare for a better future?
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30 comments:
I personally think past relationships will obviously affect the way we approach the next relationship. However; this is where peoples' actions differ. Some could be saying "i'm afriad the same thing might happen this relationship" but to pass up anyone's time because of previous situations is ludicras. We get thrown situations and crisis everyday but nothing is controlled by us but our own actions. All we can do is know that whatever relationship or situation we're handed we will have faith in our decisions enough to pick ourselves up when we don't like the outcome and make the next best decision. I say all this because i feel alot of people face decisions that their mind says mean the end of their world, that day. But our actions prove we know it is not the end and we are prepared for the anticipated or unanticipated, next step. Just be prepared to be unprepared if you understand that :].
ludicrous?
I think over all I have high expectations relationship wise. In the past I have had low expectations and only after many trials and errors have I realized that you will only get out of a relationship what you put into it. If you are only in it for the positives and rewards rather than the negatives and the downfalls you will get nowhere in your current relationship or any to come. The more you go through in a relationship with someone,both positive and negative, the closer you become and the more you learn to better your future. No relationship is perfect in a sense, but the closest thing to perfection would be lessons learned.- Jeralyn Duncan
I think that there are people that go on past relatioship affect the current no one is perfect and a relationship is not easy but if you go into a relationship with doubt and negative thinking it isnt going to be possible for it to work.
Shannon kwiatkowski
I have been in my realtionship for eleven years and I have high expectationsat this point. Only because we have been together for so long we have been through the good and the bad and guess what we are still standing. So with the years passing and the strength of our relationship, I have high expectations. We have had many rewards in this relationship... And much more to come in our future.. Lakeisha M.Dodson
I think this theory is important to the way that we as a society think and act because everyone is different. If you take a hard look at why you act the way that you do it is ultimately influenced by the ways we interact with other people. If you pay attention to the way you act, you will notice that in some cases to fit in with certian people you begin to act and even talk like them. I know that when I went to down south for the first time to Alabama I was getting made fun of because of my northern accent. All the while I was thinking "You are the one with an accent". Then by the time it was time for me to leave I found myself having a southern accent. It was interesting.
The last post was done by Michelle Arboe.
I think this theory is a great way to evaluate all relationships. It would probably help with the divorce rate too. If everyone sat and thought and actually weighed out the pros and cons in their relationship it would create a better approach and more realistic expectations. I personally haven't had too many relationship issues that haven't been created by myself. I have been with my present gf for 4 years and I think I may have high expectations. We have had our ups and downs but even they are mostly outside the relationship and have nothing to do with us. I personally have learnt my flaws through trial and error and consider myself better in relationships with every new one. If I was not happy in my current relationship I would definitely find this useful!
Gary Chame Cox II
The way that I see this social exchange theory and how one can use on a relationship is that help you to decide where you are and take you where you want to go. I think that this work for some people that really want to work the relationship and trying to getting something (the reward). I don't think that you need to be on a relationship in order to know your expectations. On some occasions there are some cost that one need to take in order to succeed on the relationship.
Miguel Lopez
I think I have pretty low expectations just because I used to be in a bad relationship that pretty much ruined it for the next person I get close to. I am trying to have more trust in my relationships and not let the last person dictate how I am with this person. I think the social exchange theory is a great way to provide you with insight with your relationships. This theory makes you see things for what they really are. I think it would be a good tool to be able to sit down and see the good and bad in your relationship and see what you can do to change that. If everyone did that, it would probably save a lot of relationships. I think this theory is really cool and helpful for someone to decide whether or not the relationship your in with someone is worth having or not.
i am actually in this middle of this problem with my most recent ex boyfriend. i began feeling very under appreciated, i felt like i was the one doing almost all of the work, and whenever i would ask him to do something for me, he was always too tired or a number of other things. i dont feel as if my expectations are too high of him; i am pretty simple. but now im beginning to second guess myself. i was with my last boyfriend for about 4 1/2 years straight. he would give me the world if i wanted him to. this is what makes me wonder if its just me expecting too much, or if it is simply the fact that he isnt able to give me what i need. this is something i will continue to think about when i enter into a new relationship, and not just in my love life.
-laura prout
This theory is human nature or, as an Americans we expect to put in the least effort for the most grand results. We should think back in past times to our grandfathers an there fathers before them. These generations were hard workers. And they applied that same ethic to love, romance and relationships. In order to get the grand results of an relationship you must give it your all at all times!
jonjacob
Nathan, very well put
I agree with Courtney, I believe that of the outcome our past relationships plays a part in how we are going to view the next.
I definitely have high expectations when it comes to dating. I know how I want to be treated and how I should be treated.
Also, I believe the social exchange theory plays a part in my decisions with dating as well. If I refuse to put my time and effort into a relationship that's not worth it. Why waste my time?? If there's no benefits in it for me I don't want it.
Lucinda Williams
It all depends on what kind of relationship it is, but most of the time I do not have any expectations especailly in personal relationship.
Deven Brown
I believe that past relationships have a direct outlook o how your going to view your next. But i dont agree that it is always a good idea to go into the next relationship expecting it to be like the last or treating it like your still in your last relationship because you'll never move foward if your always looking back.
on how your going to view....
the one before this was mine..sorry
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