- Conflict helps us focus attention on problems that may need to be solved.
- Conflict clarifies what may need to be changed.
- Conflict focuses our attention on what is important to you and your partner.
- Conflict helps clarify who you are and the values you hold.
- Conflict helps you learn more about your partner.
- Conflicts keep relationships interesting.
- Conflict strengthens relationships by increasing your confidence that you can manage and resolve disagreements.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Seven Benefits of Conflict in Relationships
Believe it or not, conflict is a good thing. While this might seem counter-intuitive, there are five reasons why conflict can actually help a relationship grow.
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21 comments:
I think one of the most important benefits of conflict would be that conflict clarifies what may need to be changed. Without some conflict thing may never change for the better, in fact they may continue to get worse. Another important benefit would be that conflict keeps relationships interestin. How boring would a relationship be if you always agreed with your partner?? People are drawn to differences in others just as much as similarities if not more so. Conflict also clarifies who you are and the values you hold because you are an individual and you need to stand up for what you believe in. If you don't others will take advantage of that and may even see you as a weak target.Conflict helps us focus on problems that need to be solves as well as what is important to you and your partner. It helps us be more other-oriented by knowing and understanding how your partner as well as yourself feels. No one likes conflict,but it is actually quite a positive attribute if you look at it the right way and there are many things to be learned from and changed for future reference to better your overall relationship-Jeralyn Duncan
I agree that conflict is a good thing. Without conflict, relationships would be boring and lifeless. I think that conflict does benefit us by focusing on the issues that need to be talked through and changed. I think it is healthy in a relationship to see both sides of the street and agree to go halfway to reach an acceptable outcome. Also, I agree that it helps you know and understand your partners values and how they look at life. You both could totally disagree about abortion or adoption but once you hear the other side of things from someone that is close to you, you could at least see their point of view. Conflict also keeps the relationship intersting because I know I have had a few laughs from some of the "interesting" arguements my girlfriend and I have had. The most important benefit would be that it increases your confidence in the relationship and with that, you can make it through a lot.
~Nathan Ghaznawi
Sometimes conflict can be good and sometimes not I think that it may help you learn more about your partner sometimes you think that you really know someone when really you dont because you might have your whole life planned out with that person in when they really arent that person You may found our that actually you hate the person that you have been with.
Shannon kwiatkowksi
Off of the list of the seven benefits of conflict in a relationship, I believe that the last one on the list is the most important in a serious relationship because if every time a husband and wife have a disagreement and threaten divorce is not healthy. A squabble every now and then does not mean that someone has to have a lawyer on retainer but gives an opportunity for healthy communication. The next would be that conflict helps focus on problems that need to be solved. Along with this comes what might need changing in your relationship and learning more about your partner. All three of these can happen in some order in the process of a conflict. These are unavoidable because they will naturally come out, but the real question is, is the other person open enough to notice them.
michelle arboe
I think the first and most important to me would be that conflict strengthens relationships by increasing your confidence so that you can manage and resolve disagreements. This is key for every arguement you will come upon in the near or distant future. Secondly would be that conflict clarifies what may need to be changed and this is hard but helps you choose your battles and recognize what i need to do to change and my partner as well. Next, you can't go anywhere in a relationship until you recognize what issues that are the most important to address and change before they become detrimental to your relationship and where it could possibly go.The last two i think would include that conflict helps us see what is important not only to us but our partner and also what each of our values are to make sure they are the same and they are the person we truly want to be with.
I believe the most important benefit of conflict would be that conflict strengthens relationships by increasing your confidence that you can manage and resolve disagreements.
Anyone who thinks clearly at all knows that no relationship is going to be perfect. If no conflict is present it is likely that neither party cares too much. Conflict naturally occurs within all relationships, whether it plays a big part or a small part.
It feels good knowing that the other party cares enough to resolve conflicts with you. Sometimes when things get too hard, people tend to walk away. It's the people that care most that stick around and try to work things out.
Lucinda Williams
I will do these in order from what I think is most to least.
7. this is important to me because if you cannot manage disagreements or arguments then wehat can you manage.
6. Usually in conflict you always learn a new side of someone. Maybe it would show some sort of passion that you've never seen.
4. If you have no values or identity then I feel like you are not a whole person. People w/out opinions lack passion or motivation...at least that's what I think
5. New personalities can come out in conflict. You can learn what others REALLY think as opposed to keeping it all in.
2. Change is always good as it can keep a newness to a relationship. If there are changes that can be made and a relationship can be saved, then why not.
Gary Chame Cox II
Conflict is just another way to couples can express they feeling, ideas and problems. Conflict can sometimes help the relationship to be stronger and help to see each other qualities. The order in which I put this benefits are; 5,2,1,3,6,7,4. Is a process of learning and not fighting and communication is another good key for success.
1,2,3,4,5 I definitely think that good conflict is necessary. Know one can be on the same page 100% of the time. Conflict helps you learn about one another to get on the same page feeling wise and come to a conclusion a resolution or compromise on situations at hand. No one is raised the exact same so in some situations you need to talk about your values and your views on things and meet in the middle on certain situations. Also sometimes you have to let the other person win and vice versa some things are just not meant to be agreed on or changed. ~Meagen
Conflict is a part of everyday life.
No relationship is perfect because no one thinks the same exact way. During a disagreement things can get tense and after an dispute those parties involved can communicate and work out the differences. And the best part of it all is making up sometimes we disagree to get our points across.
No relationship is perfect and with that said conflict os good within a relationship as long as it is not everyday and physical
Lakeisha M.Dodson
while i believe all of these reasons are very important, the number 2 and 7 seem to be the two that help me in my relationships the most. if there is something that needs to change, and it hasnt been talked about or fixed, then it will manifest itself in other ways. more disagreements will occur, and it will only end up in tears. i also believe the last one is important because it really does make you stronger. i know i have had some pretty enormous conflicts with past and present relationships. we pulled through them, but we had to do it together. this made me know just how much i could depend on the other person, and there for i was more willing, and confident to give more of myself to the other person.
-laura prout
I would agree that conflict is a good thing as well. I think conflict is definitely important in keeping relationships interesting because people would get bored with one another if they agreed on the same things all the time. Along with that I think conflict helps strengthen relationships because you know you can work through differences with that person and it makes your relationship even better. It also helps focus our attention on what is important to you and your partner. Another part of conflict that I think people can benefit from is that it helps us focus our attention on problems that may need solved. Without conflict you would not know that there is a problem and therefore would not be able to fix it. The last one I would pick from the list would be that conflict helps claify who you are and the values you hold. Conflict here helps because everyone has different values and without conflict how would you know yours if you agreed with everyone. You need to stand for what you believe.
Kylie Smith
i agree you do need conflict in a relationship it makes it stronger you have a agree to disagree if you learn that you can't change a persons mind then you have leaned to agree to disagree
"Making it interesting" is to broad for me to see it as viable. I also don't like the idea of it being a barometer for my personal beliefs. Conflict exists, in my opinion, to meld to the ideas of two into one. Sure it may be the same idea, but its more informed because the knowledge of other opinions has been brought into it. Consider that statement, "I'm not the same person I used to be." Well yes, you are. but you are more informed so your outcome, you actions, your expectations have changed. This is true with conflict. It allows us a glimpse into another person and their workings. Not just of their thoughts and beliefs but "how". How they came to those. How the explain those. this is the opportunity to comprehend our other and use that information to inform our subsequent interactions. For instance, if I know my spouse has trouble articulating his or her feelings while in the heat of an argument I may ask for us to separate for a time while he or she is able to gather themselves. Whereas I have no trouble following the ebbs and flows of an argument and gathering new information while reorienting my position. It would be best for me to step away .
Also we can hear what other issues come to light. On another question we talked about conflicts becoming personal. While this certainly has opportunity to become tangental it can also help us flush out other potential pitfalls. M. Kriebel
good point lakeiasha
i enjoy conflict in my relationship as long as it is light conflict. I think makes things exciting. If I dated someone that agreed everything i said i would be bored for sure
that last one was mind jonjacob
I agree with Lakeisha. Conflict is a part of everyday life. Whether the conflict brings out a positive or negative outcome, there are things that can be learned in both situations.
Its also to good to encounter conflict so you know how to deal with it.
Lucinda Williams
VERY WELL PUT LUCINDA
1. because if you notice the problem how can you solve it. 2. because you clarafication to know what it is that needs to be chaged. 4 show the other person who you are what type of a person you are. 5 because you learn new things about each other and 6 because when a relationship that is routine you tend to loose intrested.
Marcus Robinson
Lakeisha is right regaurdless of what type of conflict you are in you will get a lesson out of it.
Marcus Robinson
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